About Being A Coward

23 June 2019 Sunday 6:42pm

Just now, walking past a sitting area under the block of flats in my neighbourhood, I happen to glance at a couple of elderly men in wheelchairs and their caregivers. They were probably there just to relax and watch people walking by. But the women did not look like they were relaxing at all. One of them was sitting on the stone bench. She was using a sarong to cover her front because her Tshirt was pulled up at the back. The other woman was standing behind her. She looked like she was inspecting her friend’s back. I noticed reddish welts. And they certainly didn’t look like they were bug bites. It looked like she leaned back against a fence with diagonal metal bars. I only glanced for a couple of seconds but I knew at once they were burn marks. I walked on, pretending not to have noticed. I don’t think they saw me. By then the blood began to pound in my head and my heart beat a little faster. I thought, Shouldn’t I turn back and help her to report the abuse to the authorities or something? But still I walked on. I felt like crying and I felt angry at the same time. Why didn’t I turn back, G?

You tell me, dear one.

I didn’t turn back because…because…I’m a coward!

What is a coward, my dear?

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

So are you a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.? Are you a timid or an easily intimidated person? Be honest with yourself.

No. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this.

Doing what, dear?

Helping women to not be oppressed anymore.

There’s your answer.

But I didn’t turn back! That’s not helping women!

Abuse is rooted in a belief. We are all about helping women change the belief that they deserve less respect than men. And we are also helping men change this belief. A belief is of the soul and mind. You didn’t turn back because your soul knows true change is from the soul. You are already helping that woman by bringing awareness to her particular situation. Because her situation is not uncommon. Will you be posting this online?

Yes, I suppose.

There you go. In order to help one woman, you have to help bring awareness to the problems most women are experiencing.

But what about that abused woman? Who will help her not be abused anymore?

Only she can help herself. And revealing her predicament to another is already one way of doing that. Let us hope they will help each other do the right thing. And you seeing evidence of her abuse is not a happenstance. Everything that happens in your life is never a happenstance. Everything that shows up in your life has a purpose. Your experiences are tools to help you evolve to the grandest and highest version of your spiritual self.

Not helping that woman is certainly not the grandest and highest version of my spiritual self. I’m still feeling guilty that I didn’t turn back to help.

You still can, you know.

I can still what?

Turn back.

I don’t think so. She might not be there anymore.

What if you see her again? Will you ask her about her predicament?

I really don’t know the answer to that. There are so many things to consider.

Like what, my dear?

Like would she be embarrassed if a total stranger confronted her about her back? Maybe they aren’t even burn marks. Then I’ll be the one embarrassed. Or her employer might find out that someone else knows about her predicament and then she might be abused even more.

You do know, my child, that those are just guesswork. Also known as excuses. They are mere speculations. Which means they do not exist.

Also known as fears.

Yes.

Then I am a coward after all.

You may say whatever you say you are, dear one. But what you are doing or not doing is not as important as what you are being. What do you think you are being?

I’m being a coward.

Tell me what is a coward again, please.

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

Is a coward being fearful or being courageous?

A coward is being fearful.

Are you in fear right now?

Not now, no. But I was when I passed by that abused woman!

Are you very sure she was abused?

No, I’m not one hundred percent sure. Where is this going?

This is going nowhere until you are one hundred percent sure that she was abused.

But the only way to be one hundred percent sure is to walk up to her and ask her to her face!

Then do it.

I don’t want to!

Why not?

Because I’m a coward!

I give up.

God is giving up. That’s laughable.

Soul Oneness

6 October 2018 Saturday 7:54am

Our soul Oneness takes precedence over our physical Oneness.

I don’t think this is one hundred percent true, because I just read an article about how we are so lacking in physical touching – especially among men. But really thinking about it, I believe that’s not exactly true either. It is only customary to shake hands with people you’ve just been introduced to because we are respecting each other’s personal space. With acquaintances, maybe we push it up a notch with a fist bump and shoulder hug, or a high five – for men. A kiss on the cheek or two, or a quick hug which work for both men and women, depending on the culture. There’s also rubbing of noses as a customary way of greeting new friends. And in another culture it’s not uncommon for two men to hold hands who are merely having a platonic relationship. Of course, when it comes to one’s loved ones – generally, touching will be a little more intimate – again depending on the culture, customs and traditions. The article also talked about how some of us have the mindset where we judge touching as always having sexual motives.

So what are you trying to say, my child?

I’m just saying that – if we really delve deep into how we relate to each other when it comes to touch – we aren’t so lacking to the point where it has adverse effects on our psyche. (Although, I might mention it’s becoming a problem with certain people whose job require single-hood). We must also accept the fact, that not everyone is comfortable with touching – especially in public. I feel that people who are lacking in human contact are not that common. So when we say that “soul Oneness takes precedence over physical Oneness”, what exactly do we mean? Because more often than not we practice Oneness through touch. As compared to Oneness of the soul.

Imagine this – what would it be like if all – and I mean all the people of the world held each other’s hands for 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year of every year, as a way of being truly One?

Huh? We won’t get anything done!

Precisely. And since that cannot be done (but then again nothing is impossible) when it comes to Oneness, then soul Oneness takes precedence over physical Oneness. Actually, most of you are already practicing soul Oneness.

Yeah. Via the Internet.

Unfortunately, there are those who abuse it.

Yeah. Unfortunately.

The Bling Heart

11 July 2018 Wednesday 10:23pm

“Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective… please explain that one to me.”

That was a tweet from someone I follow on Twitter. He recently lost his 19 year-old son who died in his sleep. Can you please help us understand the phrase “has a way of putting everything in perspective”? Which I believe people like to say to someone who has just had a devastating or traumatic experience happen in their life.

What does the word “perspective” mean?

I found two relevant meanings on Dictionary app: One—the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.” Sample sentence is: “You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.” And the second meaning is “the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship.” Sample sentence is: “Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.”

Why do you think these two definitions are relevant to our discussion?

Well, because they mention the word “relationship”. Isn’t our discussion about relationships?

Yes, it is. So now repeat that statement above and let’s see how the definitions relate to it.

Okay. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” So now, I guess I’m supposed to replace the word “perspective” with its meaning?

Go ahead. Let’s see if we can expand on it.

Here goes—Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything into showing the facts one knows about having a meaningful interrelationship. Hm, that actually makes sense.

How so?

Many of us actually know the basic principles of how to maintain a strong and loving relationship. But many of us are sometimes too busy with matters of this world that we sort of put our own relationships with ourselves and with our own family to the back burner. What I mean is—our own self-growth and family interrelationships are not at the top of our To-do list. Sometimes we learn this folly the hard way. We don’t realise we had it good until we lose it—as the saying goes. It is when we lose someone we love that we sometimes realise we could have done so, so much more in making that relationship into a loving and enriching one.

That last sentence is the explanation, my dear. But to expand even more on it—imagine the word “perspective” in that statement as a jigsaw puzzle in the shape of a heart. And that heart-shaped puzzle shows all the relationships you’ve had in a span of a lifetime. When you are born, your life is like the outline of a heart which is a jigsaw puzzle—no pieces in place yet except for that one piece which is yourself. Let’s place it right in the middle. You are now standing alone in the middle of a heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle with no piece in place. As an infant, you have no perspective yet of who you really are because you are not able to make deliberate conscious choices when it comes to relationships. You have subconscious choices, of course, like instinctively relating to your birth mother or father. You are still not aware of these choices. It is when you learn to make conscious choices that you begin to acquire the other pieces of that heart-shaped puzzle. You will be acquiring these pieces as you go along through life. So now, you have a couple of pieces which are from your mother and father. (There are now several deviations when it comes to what is a family—but let’s keep it to the basic to make for easier discussion.) You may have pieces that are from your siblings. There will be from your relatives, like your grandparents, uncles and aunties, if any. As you grow into adulthood, there will be pieces coming from your teachers, friends, co-workers, lovers, husbands and wives, children, etc, etc. Now, as you stand in the middle with all these pieces around you, you begin to see the “perspective”. You begin to see who you really are in relation to all these relationships—which we refer to here as pieces of a puzzle that is the shape of you. Because this world is actually nothing but relationships. There might be pieces that you would see as brilliant in colour and there will be those that are not so brilliant—dim, in fact, because these particular pieces of relationships do not shine that much for you. And then there will be pieces that may have cracks in them.

I know what those are—broken relationships.

Yes.

What about a relationship whereby a parent loses a child that he or she loves very much? A child who never reached his or her fullest potential? What kind of jigsaw piece would that look like?

If there was immense love, then it would be a brilliant one.

But the parent’s heart is broken upon the child’s death. It can’t really have a crack on it, now can it?

You tell me how that piece would look like. After all, you have a very rich imagination.

Me? I don’t think so. Anyway, if I lost a child (touch wood) who I never saw grow up, I imagine that tiny jigsaw piece to be brilliant but there’ll be a shape of a teardrop on it. You know, like the crying emoticon.

A very good visual.

Thank you. So let’s get back to that statement. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” I’m thinking—is this meant to judge the heartbroken? Or is it meant to uplift?

The meaning of everything is the meaning you give it, my child. Imagine that you have just lost your loved one and you are grieving. You are looking at your heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle of life with all its pieces that are shining brightly and some not so bright. You have in your hand that little piece which is the symbol of your relationship with your lost loved one. That brilliant piece with a teardrop on it. Do you see any other piece that looks like that in your heart-shaped puzzle?

Of course. There’s my Dad’s piece. And then there’s that piece that represents my marriage.

Ah, your marriage. Which led to a divorce. Will that piece be brilliant or dim? Because how brilliant or how dim each piece will be is entirely up to you. Did a relationship enrich your life? Did you partake of any life lessons from it? Did it make you sad? Or depressed? Did it devastate? Is the relationship still active? Has it died?

I guess it would be brilliant because I’ve learnt a lot from it. And since I can choose how I perceive a relationship, then I want all the pieces in my heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle to be brilliant. How awesome that would look like! A heart-shaped puzzle that is so bling!

Yes, that heart would definitely shine for all the world to see. That is how the heart of a true master looks like.