The Bling Heart

11 July 2018 Wednesday 10:23pm

“Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective… please explain that one to me.”

That was a tweet from someone I follow on Twitter. He recently lost his 19 year-old son who died in his sleep. Can you please help us understand the phrase “has a way of putting everything in perspective”? Which I believe people like to say to someone who has just had a devastating or traumatic experience happen in their life.

What does the word “perspective” mean?

I found two relevant meanings on Dictionary app: One—the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.” Sample sentence is: “You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.” And the second meaning is “the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship.” Sample sentence is: “Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.”

Why do you think these two definitions are relevant to our discussion?

Well, because they mention the word “relationship”. Isn’t our discussion about relationships?

Yes, it is. So now repeat that statement above and let’s see how the definitions relate to it.

Okay. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” So now, I guess I’m supposed to replace the word “perspective” with its meaning?

Go ahead. Let’s see if we can expand on it.

Here goes—Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything into showing the facts one knows about having a meaningful interrelationship. Hm, that actually makes sense.

How so?

Many of us actually know the basic principles of how to maintain a strong and loving relationship. But many of us are sometimes too busy with matters of this world that we sort of put our own relationships with ourselves and with our own family to the back burner. What I mean is—our own self-growth and family interrelationships are not at the top of our To-do list. Sometimes we learn this folly the hard way. We don’t realise we had it good until we lose it—as the saying goes. It is when we lose someone we love that we sometimes realise we could have done so, so much more in making that relationship into a loving and enriching one.

That last sentence is the explanation, my dear. But to expand even more on it—imagine the word “perspective” in that statement as a jigsaw puzzle in the shape of a heart. And that heart-shaped puzzle shows all the relationships you’ve had in a span of a lifetime. When you are born, your life is like the outline of a heart which is a jigsaw puzzle—no pieces in place yet except for that one piece which is yourself. Let’s place it right in the middle. You are now standing alone in the middle of a heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle with no piece in place. As an infant, you have no perspective yet of who you really are because you are not able to make deliberate conscious choices when it comes to relationships. You have subconscious choices, of course, like instinctively relating to your birth mother or father. You are still not aware of these choices. It is when you learn to make conscious choices that you begin to acquire the other pieces of that heart-shaped puzzle. You will be acquiring these pieces as you go along through life. So now, you have a couple of pieces which are from your mother and father. (There are now several deviations when it comes to what is a family—but let’s keep it to the basic to make for easier discussion.) You may have pieces that are from your siblings. There will be from your relatives, like your grandparents, uncles and aunties, if any. As you grow into adulthood, there will be pieces coming from your teachers, friends, co-workers, lovers, husbands and wives, children, etc, etc. Now, as you stand in the middle with all these pieces around you, you begin to see the “perspective”. You begin to see who you really are in relation to all these relationships—which we refer to here as pieces of a puzzle that is the shape of you. Because this world is actually nothing but relationships. There might be pieces that you would see as brilliant in colour and there will be those that are not so brilliant—dim, in fact, because these particular pieces of relationships do not shine that much for you. And then there will be pieces that may have cracks in them.

I know what those are—broken relationships.

Yes.

What about a relationship whereby a parent loses a child that he or she loves very much? A child who never reached his or her fullest potential? What kind of jigsaw piece would that look like?

If there was immense love, then it would be a brilliant one.

But the parent’s heart is broken upon the child’s death. It can’t really have a crack on it, now can it?

You tell me how that piece would look like. After all, you have a very rich imagination.

Me? I don’t think so. Anyway, if I lost a child (touch wood) who I never saw grow up, I imagine that tiny jigsaw piece to be brilliant but there’ll be a shape of a teardrop on it. You know, like the crying emoticon.

A very good visual.

Thank you. So let’s get back to that statement. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” I’m thinking—is this meant to judge the heartbroken? Or is it meant to uplift?

The meaning of everything is the meaning you give it, my child. Imagine that you have just lost your loved one and you are grieving. You are looking at your heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle of life with all its pieces that are shining brightly and some not so bright. You have in your hand that little piece which is the symbol of your relationship with your lost loved one. That brilliant piece with a teardrop on it. Do you see any other piece that looks like that in your heart-shaped puzzle?

Of course. There’s my Dad’s piece. And then there’s that piece that represents my marriage.

Ah, your marriage. Which led to a divorce. Will that piece be brilliant or dim? Because how brilliant or how dim each piece will be is entirely up to you. Did a relationship enrich your life? Did you partake of any life lessons from it? Did it make you sad? Or depressed? Did it devastate? Is the relationship still active? Has it died?

I guess it would be brilliant because I’ve learnt a lot from it. And since I can choose how I perceive a relationship, then I want all the pieces in my heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle to be brilliant. How awesome that would look like! A heart-shaped puzzle that is so bling!

Yes, that heart would definitely shine for all the world to see. That is how the heart of a true master looks like.

The Cave

5 July 2018 Thursday 7:37am

“You can have faith and just wait without doing anything. Um..No comment. You’re on your own on this one. Good luck!”

I tweeted that the other day. I’m thinking—that’s what those twelve boys and a coach did when they got stuck in that underground cave. But they got results anyway. They were found and are now waiting to leave that cave. So does that mean just having faith and just waiting works?

They’re waiting to leave? What are they waiting for?

The cave is still flooded. The rescuers are helping to drain the water but it’s a slow process. At the moment, the rescuers are helping the boys and the coach gain back their strength and confidence. So they can swim or dive out of the cave despite the flood. It seems the rescuers are thinking of two options: One—find another exit. Two—teach the group how to swim and dive out. But the experienced divers say that even for experienced and expert divers, the flooded cave is super dangerous. And these kids’ health and stamina are not exactly to the max at the moment. I understand the rescuers have brought in 2 weeks worth of supplies, just in case. Man, being stuck in a cave for one day will already freak me out! Poor guys. Luckily, they will also be provided with some communication cable soon, if they haven’t already. Communicating with their loved ones will definitely be a big boost for their morale. So to get back to my question—so this situation just proves that having faith and waiting works after all, yes?

Are they still waiting?

Well, technically yes.

Are they not doing anything?

No. They’re doing plenty! Especially on the rescuers’ side—which I believe has become an international affair.

So to answer your question—Yes, it may work. And no, it may not work.

I think you misunderstood my question. I’m talking about the time before they were rescued. They just waited in that cave for 9 days for someone to rescue them. They probably just had faith and prayed a lot and waited. And yet rescue showed up. Isn’t that doing nothing but have faith?

How did anyone know they were stuck in that cave?

That’s a silly question. Their families would have worried about their disappearance, of course.

So they actually let their parents know where they were going?

Most probably.

That is considered doing something, my dear. Even if they didn’t inform their parents—that is still doing something. Because their very existence as a member of a loving family is doing something. Their presence being missed in the comfort and love of a family is “doing something.” From the day you are born you are always doing something. Even before you are born you are doing something. Your soul is energy which is forever “doing something.” The energy of the soul can only be felt and not seen because it is an energy that is at a different frequency as compared to energy that is produced by your physicality—which is your body. You are never “not doing something.” You are always doing something. This “doing something” that you are doing is forever because your soul is forever.

So are you telling me that the statement “have faith and just wait” is wrong?

Nothing is ever wrong or right, my dear. That statement is not possible.

So that statement is an impossibility? That it can never be done? That no one in this world can really do such an action?

Having faith in itself is an action. Faith is a thought. Faith is a feeling. Your thoughts and your feelings are the most powerful energy in your universe. Energy in itself is “doing something.”

So what you’re saying is…Oh man, I don’t know what you’re saying! Help!

You came into this world for only one thing—and that is to help each other. When those boys and that coach decided to go into that cave, their soul already planned to get stuck even before they were born. We’ve mentioned it before—it’s called their “agenda.” Their soul’s agenda is to one day get stuck in a cave in order for the world to know who they really are. And in turn, they are giving the people of the world a chance to be who they really are.

Hence, the international coverage and the international oneness to rescue them.

Yes. So are the boys and their coach out of that cave yet?

Not yet, I think. Soon, hopefully. We’re following the updates very closely. It seems they’re in good disposition, so that helps the situation a lot.

Mindset is everything.

I know, I know. Frustration slows everything down. Love all around is better.

Much, much better.

The Old Lady & The Taxi

30 May 2018 Wednesday 10:24am

We’re lunching out and watching a movie today. But I’m still chef for tonight’s dinner.

As I was hurrying to the grocery, an old lady stopped me at the taxi stand. She was sitting on the bench.

She said, “Can you please flag a taxi for me? My legs are painful. I can’t walk.” I was thinking, Then how’d you get here?

Anyway, I looked around, there wasn’t a taxi in sight, “Don’t worry, Auntie. One will come in soon. Just wait.”

She replied, “Don’t have. Can you go over there and flag one for me?” She was pointing to the turn at the road junction.

What?! I thought, I’m in a hurry! And when it’s raining, available taxis are scarce! “Don’t worry, Auntie. One will come soon. Just wait,” I said.

She said, “Can you wait with me? Don’t worry, the grocery closes at 10pm.”

What?! She actually expects me to wait with her for as long at it takes?! I said, “I know, Auntie. But I’m in a hurry. I’m going out and I need to buy stuff for dinner. Just wait, a taxi will come. How about I buy my stuff first and then come back and wait with you? Can?” Liar. I’m hoping she’ll be gone when I pass by on the way back. She agreed.

As I was paying for my stuff, I thought of taking a detour to avoid her. But soul said, Is that who you really are, Joy? If she’s still there, you can book a taxi for her. And you can even push the bar higher by paying the fare in advance. Consider it your good deed for the day—heck, the whole year.

My shopping done, I walked back to the taxi stand. She was still there. But this time, there were a couple of ladies with her. They were probably waiting for taxis too.

I walked up to her and asked, “So how, Auntie?” She said, “Never mind. I’ll just wait.”

I said, “Okay. One will come soon, don’t worry.” Besides, I thought, you’re not alone anymore. I said “Bye!” and headed for home.

What does it all mean? I have no idea. Maybe it’ll come to me later. In the meantime, you decide.

7:56pm

I got it. I know what it means:

“There’s being kind, and then there’s being a push-over. Know the difference.”

What did you get?