Navigating Big Change Without Going Insane

by Nova Wightman (www.theglobalconversation.com)

I’m going through some big changes in my life on many fronts, from my career changing, moving into a new home, going through a recent break-up, to a loved one being sick.  Some days I feel okay about it all, like I can handle it and that it’s leading me to someplace really, really good even if it doesn’t always feel that way.  Other days I feel like I’m drowning and am full of anxiety, I sometimes even feel depressed and helpless.  How can I ride out this time of great transition without going crazy??
Marion, Ohio

 Hi Marion,
Oh do I feel for you.  While I believe that all change is for the better, even the tough kind and even if the evidence of that takes awhile to show itself, I can appreciate the difficulty of the state you’re in while going through it.  I happen to be in a time of great flux as well, and have my “I’m going crazy” moments.  While I won’t get into and make it about me, I will tell you that you’re not alone, and offer you some guidance in the form of how I am navigating it all.

First and foremost, don’t do it alone.  Surround yourself with every person who has ever said “Anything I can do?” or “Let me know if you need anything at all, I’m here for you.”  Take them up on it.  And if you’re short on those kinds of people in your life, hire someone: a coach, a therapist, etc. Or you can reach out to someone on the CWG Helping Outreach team (www.cwghelpingoutreach.com), a team of volunteer Spiritual Helpers who can listen and help you make sense of things.  Also, if you haven’t yet read Neale’s book “When Everything Changes, Change Everything” please grab a copy and dive in.  I will also say that if you think you are clinically depressed, please just stop reading here and go get that help; the following guidance doesn’t really apply in that case.

Now, for the hands on, do it right now advice.  I follow one major rule of thumb when navigating change, and although it is incredibly simple (in theory, not necessarily in application), it is hands down the most effective tool I have come across for navigating such times, as well as life in general.  When you are feeling down, tired, overwhelmed, hopeless, upset, depressed, etc., do not, I repeat DO NOT think of anything important or make important decisions from that place.  Wait until you feel better, even a little bit better, and believe me, you will.  You’ve already identified that you have days/moments where you feel okay or good about things and trust that everything is unfolding the way it needs to.  Those are the times to give those big topics of change your attention, from that better-feeling place that is also known as a “higher vibrating” place.

You see, it is when we are feeling good and vibrating high that we have access to the answers, ideas, resources, inspiration and clarity that we need to help us live more in the flow of life versus trying to swim against the current.  It’s when we are feeling like crap and try to act from that place that we are swimming against the current because, put simply, we don’t have access to all of those things I just listed.  We are clouded, confused, can’t seem to see more than an inch or two in front of our faces, and everything looks worse than it really is.  Sound familiar?

So that’s it in a nutshell.  Avoid the heck out of your reality when you’re feeling down, discipline yourself to simply not give it your attention with the awareness that if you do, you are not accessing truth.  Distract yourself in the meantime with things that help you to feel a tiny bit better until you feel good enough to give it your attention again, even if that looks like taking a nap, crying it out, going for a walk, or watching a movie while eating ice cream (one of my favorites, by the way, though I wouldn’t recommend making this one your go-to move unless you have an extremely high metabolism).

You can accept that this period of transition will be challenging, you will have ups and you will have downs.  During the downs, give yourself a break.  During the ups, milk it for all it’s worth.  You will find yourself on the other side of this, better for it, a higher version of Who You Really Are, and I can sense that you already know that, Marion.  Go ahead and trust that.

(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.)

The Law of Attraction

Being Attractive 101
by Lauren Rourk (www.theglobalconversation.com)

The first of December. ‘Tis the season for college and high school realizing that they might just survive first semester. As this is truly a great accomplishment, I congratulate all of you for bringing more light and awareness into the world.  

But, with the end of the term, and the beginning of another, it’s time for a moment of reflection. To see where you are at, and where you desire to be.  

So now, looking back at your first semester, think to yourself:

“Do I like what I see in my life???”

If the answer is NO, then be comforted by one thought alone:

You, right now, completely have the ability to change that answer to a YES.   

On some level, whether it be the conscious, sub-conscious, or unconscious, you have manifested everything that has come into your life. Your friends, your ‘enemies’; everything has come directly to you from your highest intentions of who you are. Whatever you are “seeing” in your life right now, is something that you have chosen. Since this is a choice, you possess the ability to change your choices, and change your reality. Impossible? Not with the Law of Attraction.

In the New Age Movement, the Law of Attraction is a very simple statement with an incredibly powerful message: like energies attract like energies. Proven scientifically through the incredible capacity of the brain’s neurological systems, it has been found that energies surrounding thoughts, emotions, and actions can mirror and intensify itself over time.  If you devote enough energy on a certain topic, object, or state of mind, it will be created in your direct reality.

In the most causal sense, the Law of Attraction is putting a mirror of yourself to the world. If you are sending out negative energy into the world, then that is exactly what you will receive back.

So…what is manifested inwardly is also manifested outwardly. If you don’t like what you see on the outside, start to look at inwards at what YOU are sending out to the world. If you demonstrate hate-driven or fear-driven thoughts and behavior, then you are going to attract even more hate-driven and fear-driven behavior into your life.

As the Law of Attraction does not only apply to thoughts, but also to people, the same message still applies: positive thoughts bring positive people. For whatever type of people you wish to bring into your life, you must BE that person internally. If you desire to attract ambitious and motivated people in your life, you must first BE that ambitious and motivated person. If you desire to attract easy-going and fun-loving people in your life, you must first BE that easy-going and fun-loving person. Because once you feel it, everyone else will too. Simple as that.  

With the end of the first semester and the beginning of second semester, we will all soon be getting new schedules and new perspectives. If you do want to see “something new” and “something better”, then, with the Law of Attraction, you CAN choose to make it happen. To attract that state, be IN that state. People WILL notice that energy, and they WILL be attracted to you. If you like your life, others will too. And then the whole world is just that much better next semester.

(Lauren Rourk is a Feature Editor at The Global Conversation and attends Purdue University in West Lafayette, IN.)

Speaking even a simple truth is so hard…

by Therese Wilson (theglobalconversation.com)
November 26, 2013

Dear Therese,
A friend and I have been doing things together twice a week for almost ten years. We enjoy our time together, and have many things in common, but that’s not the problem. My problem is that I always drive, because she doesn’t, and she has never once offered to pay me for gas. Until recently that wasn’t an issue, because the places we like to go are in her area, but I am on a fixed income and would sure like to keep costs down for me, and there are things much closer to me that I could go to, instead of by her. How do I tell her?

W.H. in Wisconsin

Dear W.H.,

The simple answer, W.H., is tell her exactly what you just told me! You’ve given no indication that she is abusive or unreasonable, which probably means that she has likely fallen into the habit of letting you pay. Is it possible that when this arrangement began you consistently told her it was your pleasure, or no problem, or you liked doing this? Sweetie, if you don’t speak up, you will never know if there really is a problem! It could be that she is very willing to pay, just doesn’t know circumstances have changed for you.

Your predicament is a microcosm of a much larger social problem, of course. We are encouraged to give, but not told why. The “why” is because this life isn’t about us, it is about how our lives touch and improve the lives others. (Put very simply , of course) What we aren’t really told these days, is that all benefits must be mutual. The mutual ultimately boils down to the joy of giving, but being the human beings that we are, it often takes something a little more concrete to demonstrate mutuality. For sure it means that one person can not take advantage of another. When generosity is abused the energy of the relationship changes, and we feel it.

Then comes the next predicament. We are also told that we have to be nice. We are encouraged to avoid conflict. We are fearful that other people won’t like us. None of these things are necessarily wrong, until they stop us from being true to ourselves. When we stop being true to ourselves, W.H., we also stop giving from our joy, and our giving becomes tainted.

When our giving no longer comes from our joy, as is demonstrated in your case, it effects relationships. Your friend, W.H., has no way of knowing that something has changed unless you tell her. Chances are she suspects, by your behavior, or some subtle changes in you, but she can not really know until you tell her your truth. I suggest you tell her very gently, but directly, that your circumstances have changed. Don’t just stop doing things with her and go to places closer without giving her a chance to give back to you. Who knows, she may have been hiding information from you about her finances or other things, and may wish to talk to you, too. This one thing may actually open up a whole new avenue of communication between the two of you.

We just never know where standing in our own truth, even in seemingly simple things, will take us!
Therese

(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at http://www.cwghelpingoutreach.com)