The Bling Heart

11 July 2018 Wednesday 10:23pm

“Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective… please explain that one to me.”

That was a tweet from someone I follow on Twitter. He recently lost his 19 year-old son who died in his sleep. Can you please help us understand the phrase “has a way of putting everything in perspective”? Which I believe people like to say to someone who has just had a devastating or traumatic experience happen in their life.

What does the word “perspective” mean?

I found two relevant meanings on Dictionary app: One—the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.” Sample sentence is: “You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.” And the second meaning is “the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship.” Sample sentence is: “Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.”

Why do you think these two definitions are relevant to our discussion?

Well, because they mention the word “relationship”. Isn’t our discussion about relationships?

Yes, it is. So now repeat that statement above and let’s see how the definitions relate to it.

Okay. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” So now, I guess I’m supposed to replace the word “perspective” with its meaning?

Go ahead. Let’s see if we can expand on it.

Here goes—Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything into showing the facts one knows about having a meaningful interrelationship. Hm, that actually makes sense.

How so?

Many of us actually know the basic principles of how to maintain a strong and loving relationship. But many of us are sometimes too busy with matters of this world that we sort of put our own relationships with ourselves and with our own family to the back burner. What I mean is—our own self-growth and family interrelationships are not at the top of our To-do list. Sometimes we learn this folly the hard way. We don’t realise we had it good until we lose it—as the saying goes. It is when we lose someone we love that we sometimes realise we could have done so, so much more in making that relationship into a loving and enriching one.

That last sentence is the explanation, my dear. But to expand even more on it—imagine the word “perspective” in that statement as a jigsaw puzzle in the shape of a heart. And that heart-shaped puzzle shows all the relationships you’ve had in a span of a lifetime. When you are born, your life is like the outline of a heart which is a jigsaw puzzle—no pieces in place yet except for that one piece which is yourself. Let’s place it right in the middle. You are now standing alone in the middle of a heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle with no piece in place. As an infant, you have no perspective yet of who you really are because you are not able to make deliberate conscious choices when it comes to relationships. You have subconscious choices, of course, like instinctively relating to your birth mother or father. You are still not aware of these choices. It is when you learn to make conscious choices that you begin to acquire the other pieces of that heart-shaped puzzle. You will be acquiring these pieces as you go along through life. So now, you have a couple of pieces which are from your mother and father. (There are now several deviations when it comes to what is a family—but let’s keep it to the basic to make for easier discussion.) You may have pieces that are from your siblings. There will be from your relatives, like your grandparents, uncles and aunties, if any. As you grow into adulthood, there will be pieces coming from your teachers, friends, co-workers, lovers, husbands and wives, children, etc, etc. Now, as you stand in the middle with all these pieces around you, you begin to see the “perspective”. You begin to see who you really are in relation to all these relationships—which we refer to here as pieces of a puzzle that is the shape of you. Because this world is actually nothing but relationships. There might be pieces that you would see as brilliant in colour and there will be those that are not so brilliant—dim, in fact, because these particular pieces of relationships do not shine that much for you. And then there will be pieces that may have cracks in them.

I know what those are—broken relationships.

Yes.

What about a relationship whereby a parent loses a child that he or she loves very much? A child who never reached his or her fullest potential? What kind of jigsaw piece would that look like?

If there was immense love, then it would be a brilliant one.

But the parent’s heart is broken upon the child’s death. It can’t really have a crack on it, now can it?

You tell me how that piece would look like. After all, you have a very rich imagination.

Me? I don’t think so. Anyway, if I lost a child (touch wood) who I never saw grow up, I imagine that tiny jigsaw piece to be brilliant but there’ll be a shape of a teardrop on it. You know, like the crying emoticon.

A very good visual.

Thank you. So let’s get back to that statement. “Losing a loved one has a way of putting everything in perspective.” I’m thinking—is this meant to judge the heartbroken? Or is it meant to uplift?

The meaning of everything is the meaning you give it, my child. Imagine that you have just lost your loved one and you are grieving. You are looking at your heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle of life with all its pieces that are shining brightly and some not so bright. You have in your hand that little piece which is the symbol of your relationship with your lost loved one. That brilliant piece with a teardrop on it. Do you see any other piece that looks like that in your heart-shaped puzzle?

Of course. There’s my Dad’s piece. And then there’s that piece that represents my marriage.

Ah, your marriage. Which led to a divorce. Will that piece be brilliant or dim? Because how brilliant or how dim each piece will be is entirely up to you. Did a relationship enrich your life? Did you partake of any life lessons from it? Did it make you sad? Or depressed? Did it devastate? Is the relationship still active? Has it died?

I guess it would be brilliant because I’ve learnt a lot from it. And since I can choose how I perceive a relationship, then I want all the pieces in my heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle to be brilliant. How awesome that would look like! A heart-shaped puzzle that is so bling!

Yes, that heart would definitely shine for all the world to see. That is how the heart of a true master looks like.

The Flower Vase

21 May 2018 Monday 6:43am

“The word “abandonment” doesn’t belong in God’s dictionary.” What’s this about, God?

Please look up the meaning of the word “abandonment.”

Okay. “Abandonment” is the noun of the verb “abandon.” And it has a lot of meanings:

1) to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert: to abandon one’s farm; to abandon a child; to abandon a sinking ship.

2) to give up; discontinue; withdraw from: to abandon a research project; to abandon hopes for a stage career.

3) to give up the control of: to abandon a city to an enemy army.

4) to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation; give (oneself) over to natural impulses, usually without self-control: to abandon oneself to grief.

The first three sort of sound the same. But number four is more like..Um…More like..

More like freedom?

Yes! The sample sentence says “To abandon oneself to grief.” I can substitute the word “abandon” with the word “free” or “freedom.” It’ll be like – to be free to express one’s grief. Or to have the freedom to grieve.

Good job.

Thank you. Wait a sec. I don’t think I can substitute the word “free” or the word “freedom” for the word “abandonment” in my tweet – “The word “freedom” doesn’t belong in God’s dictionary.” That sounds weird.

It will not sound weird if you believe that God is everything and God is the nothing.

I don’t understand. It’ll be difficult for me to believe something which I don’t understand.

Let me explain. Take for example an empty clay pot or a flower vase.

Let’s take a flower vase. I like flowers.

Okay. There’s a flower vase in front of you. That flower vase is a perfect example of God being everything and God being the nothing. Let’s say it’s made of porcelain. When you touch it, you can feel the physical part of it. The physical of everything is God because God is everything. Now, put your hand into the mouth of that vase without touching the porcelain. What do you feel?

I feel air. I feel nothing.

Now, put your hand above and around the vase without touching the porcelain. What do you feel?

Still nothing. Just air.

The everything includes the nothing. And since God is everything, then God is also the nothing. In order for you to experience the porcelain of the vase, there must exist the nothingness around and inside the vase. The everything cannot exist without the nothingness. And the nothingness cannot exist without the physicality of everything. Now do you understand when I say, God is everything and God is the nothing?

Yeah, sort of. But what’s that got to do with my tweet – “The word “abandonment” doesn’t belong in God’s dictionary.”

I will never abandon my children, you know that. But do children abandon their parents?

Some do, yeah.

So since God is everything and God is you and everyone else, then God abandons and God does not abandon. Because God is everything.

I prefer the statement – God doesn’t abandon.

But most of you abandon your parents, yes?

Like I said, some do. Total abandonment for some reason or other. Then there’s part-abandonment when most of us have to leave the nest when we’re old enough or when we get married.

Why?

So we can be independent. And focus on our own family, spouses and children. But we still check on our parents and visit them as often as we can just to see how they are. I guess like what I’m doing here now. How are you doing, God?

I’m good, thank you. Nice of you to visit. What about your mother? How is she?

She’s very good. She’s right here next to me, having her breakfast.

Why haven’t you left the nest?

I did. But I got divorced and we had to sell our apartment. So Mum and Dad welcomed me and my children back home. Lucky me. I can’t say much for those mothers and their children who have nowhere to go.

That’s another long story of abandonment, my child. Let’s talk about that another time. When it comes to discussions of the oppression of women, it will take forever.

Oh no, you’re abandoning me!

Never.

I’m kidding!

I’m not.

Man & Woman

22 April 2018 Sunday 4:22pm

If peace can only be found within – which is another way of saying, “I’ve found out how to be happy with myself,” then how come some people pay crazy money to get advice and be trained to be able to be happy with themselves?

That is because many still believe that the only way to be happy is to have the perfect relationship. And that includes the relationship with themselves. Some unhappy people are always looking for solutions to their unhappiness. They believe that with the proper advice and with the proper guidance they will surely find the prefect relationship that will bring them true happiness for the rest of their lives. There is no such thing as true happiness. There is only true peace. And that peace can never be found outside of you. It is from within. When the soul has accepted this truth, that is when the soul will no longer need anything. Not even a relationship.

Then what are you talking about when you speak of the relationship of man and woman being the saving factor of this world from its own destruction? Isn’t that pertaining towards us working towards a perfect relationship? Which you have just mentioned that a soul at peace with itself does not need?

Do you have peace?

Yes, I have peace.

Do you need a relationship right now?

No, not really.

But it would be nice to be in one, yes?

Yes. It would be fun to have someone to hang around with.

But it is not compulsory for you?

Nope.

Even for the rest of your life?

Yup. Where is this going, God?

Just checking. Checking how you are.

So how am I?

You’re perfectly fine.

I am, aren’t I? With or without a relationship, I am perfectly fine.

But it would be fun?

Yes, most definitely. If you call a lot of hard work fun, then yes.

It’s all a matter of having the right mindset, my dear.

I know that. If I didn’t have the right mindset, do you think I’d have reached this far?

No, you wouldn’t have. But with you, my dear, anything is possible.

Thank you for that vote of confidence. But you still haven’t answered my question – Why is the relationship of a man and a woman the saving factor of this world from its own destruction?

This world is an illusion, you already know that. I created the illusion of dyads in order for myself to experience myself, you already know that too. And the greatest illusion of all is that of man and woman. At the moment you also know that the spiritual make of this dyad is, as you like to say, out of whack. The mistaken belief in the illusion that the male is superior to the female is the root of all your problems in this world. If you can’t fix that then there is nothing you can fix. All of you created that mistaken belief for a purpose. And that is for all of you to experience that it doesn’t work. We have now come at an era where the world is waking up to this truth. Most of you are now awake from the deep sleep of that mistaken belief. But here’s the problem – now that most of you know the problem, most of you also are still not very sure how to fix the problem.

So how do we fix the problem?

What we’re doing here is a good start. We are discussing the problem. And we are putting it out into the world for everyone to digest and maybe come up with their own discussions and suggestions about the problem.

God, you’re sort of going round and round. You still haven’t answered my question about the man-woman-relationship thing.

I can’t answer the question because you yourself do not know the answer, my dear. I am just your word processor, remember?

I forget, actually. Anyway, since this is as far as we’re gonna get on the subject I’ll stop here. I have to prepare dinner now. Thank you for always being around to discuss what’s messing around with my peace.

You’re very welcome. That’s what I am – peace.