About Being A Coward

23 June 2019 Sunday 6:42pm

Just now, walking past a sitting area under the block of flats in my neighbourhood, I happen to glance at a couple of elderly men in wheelchairs and their caregivers. They were probably there just to relax and watch people walking by. But the women did not look like they were relaxing at all. One of them was sitting on the stone bench. She was using a sarong to cover her front because her Tshirt was pulled up at the back. The other woman was standing behind her. She looked like she was inspecting her friend’s back. I noticed reddish welts. And they certainly didn’t look like they were bug bites. It looked like she leaned back against a fence with diagonal metal bars. I only glanced for a couple of seconds but I knew at once they were burn marks. I walked on, pretending not to have noticed. I don’t think they saw me. By then the blood began to pound in my head and my heart beat a little faster. I thought, Shouldn’t I turn back and help her to report the abuse to the authorities or something? But still I walked on. I felt like crying and I felt angry at the same time. Why didn’t I turn back, G?

You tell me, dear one.

I didn’t turn back because…because…I’m a coward!

What is a coward, my dear?

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

So are you a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.? Are you a timid or an easily intimidated person? Be honest with yourself.

No. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this.

Doing what, dear?

Helping women to not be oppressed anymore.

There’s your answer.

But I didn’t turn back! That’s not helping women!

Abuse is rooted in a belief. We are all about helping women change the belief that they deserve less respect than men. And we are also helping men change this belief. A belief is of the soul and mind. You didn’t turn back because your soul knows true change is from the soul. You are already helping that woman by bringing awareness to her particular situation. Because her situation is not uncommon. Will you be posting this online?

Yes, I suppose.

There you go. In order to help one woman, you have to help bring awareness to the problems most women are experiencing.

But what about that abused woman? Who will help her not be abused anymore?

Only she can help herself. And revealing her predicament to another is already one way of doing that. Let us hope they will help each other do the right thing. And you seeing evidence of her abuse is not a happenstance. Everything that happens in your life is never a happenstance. Everything that shows up in your life has a purpose. Your experiences are tools to help you evolve to the grandest and highest version of your spiritual self.

Not helping that woman is certainly not the grandest and highest version of my spiritual self. I’m still feeling guilty that I didn’t turn back to help.

You still can, you know.

I can still what?

Turn back.

I don’t think so. She might not be there anymore.

What if you see her again? Will you ask her about her predicament?

I really don’t know the answer to that. There are so many things to consider.

Like what, my dear?

Like would she be embarrassed if a total stranger confronted her about her back? Maybe they aren’t even burn marks. Then I’ll be the one embarrassed. Or her employer might find out that someone else knows about her predicament and then she might be abused even more.

You do know, my child, that those are just guesswork. Also known as excuses. They are mere speculations. Which means they do not exist.

Also known as fears.

Yes.

Then I am a coward after all.

You may say whatever you say you are, dear one. But what you are doing or not doing is not as important as what you are being. What do you think you are being?

I’m being a coward.

Tell me what is a coward again, please.

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

Is a coward being fearful or being courageous?

A coward is being fearful.

Are you in fear right now?

Not now, no. But I was when I passed by that abused woman!

Are you very sure she was abused?

No, I’m not one hundred percent sure. Where is this going?

This is going nowhere until you are one hundred percent sure that she was abused.

But the only way to be one hundred percent sure is to walk up to her and ask her to her face!

Then do it.

I don’t want to!

Why not?

Because I’m a coward!

I give up.

God is giving up. That’s laughable.

Unsung Heroes

3 February 2019 Sunday 4:19pm

I was re-reading some entries in my diary when I came across one that I posted in my blog. It’s about the quote from Neale: “Your life is not about you.” We discussed about how drinking coffee and using shampoo benefit others because of the jobs they provide when these products are produced and manufactured. And then we went on to discuss about two earths—one where most of the people meditate, while the people of the other don’t. We also talked about how everything we do affects everything in this world because we are all One Soul. Now, I’m thinking of the other quote that says: “The greatest achievements are those that benefit others.” That sort of contradicts the other quote, doesn’t it?

How so?

The other quote is “Your life is not about you,” which, to me, means everything I do does not benefit me, but benefit others. While the other quote says, “The greatest achievements are those that benefit others,” which, to me, means not all things I do benefit others—only some. But by the way we discussed it previously, it seems everything I do benefits others, not only me. And yet the ‘greatest achievement’ quote says only those that benefit others are the most important. I believe the contradiction is that everything I do benefits others and yet not everything I do benefits others. So which is it?

You are confusing the word ‘benefit’ with the word ‘affect”. The meaning of ‘benefit’ is “something that is advantageous or good; an advantage.” While the meaning of ‘affect’ is “to act on; produce an effect or change in”. It also means “to impress the mind or move the feelings of”. ‘Benefit’ is usually something that is positive. While ‘affecting’ something could be perceived as positive as well as negative. To others, not everything you do will be perceived as positive. There will be those who will perceive some things you do as negative. So it is true when not everything you do is only about you because it will affect others in different ways. And it is also true to say that “the greatest achievements are those that benefit others” especially when those achievements are perceived as positive.

Okay. Wait. Are there achievements that are negative? If it’s negative, I don’t think it should even be called an achievement.

It is a matter of perception, my dear. There are those with unknown achievements. You have a term called “unsung hero”.

Yes. I Googled it and it means “one who does great deeds but receives little or no recognition for them”.

Your world is full of unsung heroes, my dear. They have achievements that have benefited others in more ways than one and yet they do not seek recognition or accolades for their deeds of greatness. Being alive in itself and overcoming life’s problems are great achievements which go unnoticed. Everyone in your world is a hero. With that in mind, do you still think that both quotes are contradicting in some way?

I’m not sure. Maybe I should combine them. Let’s see. Your life is not about you because the greatest achievements are those that benefit others. Hey! I think that works! 

Doesn’t everything? Have you not grown enough spiritually to believe that everything always works out for your good? 

I believe I have. But there’s still a lot of room for growth. And I mean a lot! I’m still doubting what I’m doing here exactly. 

‘Here’ as in this conversation?

No. I mean, ‘here’ as in Planet Earth. Haha.

How Do I Find Peace Again

(I read this on Neale’s latest CWG Foundation bulletin. I thought it’s worth sharing.)

Letters to Neale:

How do I find peace, again?

Reader question:

Dear Neale,

First, I want to thank you for writing your books and having the patience and perseverance to complete all of them and see them through to publishing.  I began reading them when my daughter Allison was born with Noonan Syndrome.  She was ill off and on and endured 7 surgeries in 9 years.  I was desperate to understand why she had to endure such pain and hardship and what I had done, if anything, to possibly cause her to live the difficult life she was living.

When she was 9, she was running on the playground at school and died instantly from an arrhythmia.  She had a contagious passion for life and made each moment fun.  She sang and laughed while doing everything.  Everyone seemed to be drawn to her. Even strangers would come up to her and want to talk to her and touch her.  I have been contacted by people as far away as New York who had heard of a friend of a friend who knew Ally.

Since her passing, I find I have lost my passion for life.  I have another daughter who is recovering from the trauma of losing her only sibling.  I can’t help feeling that if I was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would be relieved.  I feel emotionally exhausted and I just want to move on from this part of my existence.

I know Ally is OK and I believe that I will see her again.  It is almost as if while she was alive, I felt a direct connection to God.  I could look at her and hold her and I felt this peaceful feeling that I believe came from her.  I do believe that she was an angel.

I do not fear death and just want this pain to end.  Living for 9 years with Ally, knowing in my heart that she was not going to live a full life, and then losing her so suddenly, has just drained me.  I continue on, have gotten my teaching credential, and I try every day to reach the children I teach and help them be the best they can be.  But something has changed in me.

Is there any way I can find that peaceful feeling again?  I want to learn from Ally, and be the best I can be every day.  I do not wish to end my own life, I just am longing for the feeling I had when my Ally was with me.  I have dreamed of her twice since her death and both times I felt the connection again.  Any words of wisdom? ~Cindee

Neale Responds:

My dear Cindee,

I can think of nothing more devastating to any person than the loss of a child.  I completely understand your emotional response to this, and I experience enormous empathy when reading your letter.  You are a brave and very strong woman to have continued on to obtain your teaching certificate and to create a life where you are around other children constantly, to say nothing of your other daughter, who is, in your words, still recovering from the trauma of losing her only sibling.  I am sure that I do not need to tell you that this daughter needs you now more than ever, and that the children who look to you for care and guidance in the classroom every day are likewise depending on you at a very high level.  So I see the unique situation in which life has placed you — and I honor you for holding that place with such courage.

The first thing I find myself wanting to do, Cindee, is recommend that you read (or re-read, as the case may be) my book Home with God: In a Life That Never Ends.  This book will reconfirm for you everything that you already seem to know about your wonderful Ally — and perhaps much more that you may only have wondered about or suspected.  Not the least of this information is the passage of that book having to do with the death of children.  That passage tells us, Cindee, that…

“Death is very kind to children, because children rarely move into death holding all sorts of preconceived negative notions about what happens afterward. They are pure. They have only just come from the spiritual realm. They are not that far removed from the Core of Their Being. They have just emerged from The Essence. And so small children move through the first stages of death very quickly and return almost immediately into Mergence with The Essence.

“It should be said that children ‘grow up’ in the Afterlife. That is, they become fully aware and fully conscious of all that is going on, and of Ultimate Reality. They know why they came to the Earth and they know why they left as early as they did. If they feel complete with all of that, they will move on, in whatever form they choose. If they do not feel complete, they will have the same opportunity to ‘come back to life’ as any other soul. The process is the same for all souls, no matter what the age of their body when they leave the physical world.

“But now I should like to say something about the agenda of children who die at a very young age.

“Those souls who enter the body and leave the body within a very short period — children who die…at a very tender age — inevitably do so in service to the agenda of another, at a very high level… In some cases they are required to leave early in order to do that. This is never, however, a tragedy for that soul. They have agreed to leave early.

“Every soul who comes to the body to serve the agenda of others is an angel — and every child who has died very young has done so to bring a gift to another. That gift may not be understood for some time by parents and others who are, naturally, deeply grieving.   But I promise you that as time goes by and healing occurs, the gift will be seen, it will be received, and the work of that little sweetheart — who could only be described as an angel — will have been accomplished.”

I know, Cindee, because you have told me so, that you already know that Ally was and is an angel.  But I wonder if you have previously considered the rest of that passage from HOME WITH GOD.  There is an agenda that Ally came here to serve, and it was not only her own.  Or, to put this another way, her own agenda was to serve the agenda of others.  These would include everyone whose life was touched by her…and you tell me that this was a great many people.  I am not surprised.  Yet have you considered the possibility that this included your own spiritual agenda, Cindee?

I know that, on the surface, that may be a difficult thing for a mother saddened by the death of her child to hear.  But I believe that just below the surface of that challenging statement is a deep revelation of enormous value.  I know that during the remainder of your years on Earth, Cindee, you will touch the lives of a great many people — and a great many of them, because of your chosen profession, will be children.  Do you think this is an accident?  I, Cindee, do not.  I see in it a perfect design. And I believe that you will be a more compassionate, more caring, more sensitive, more understanding, more insightful, more wonderful-in-every-way guide for those children than they could ever have hoped to find at their schoolhouse…all because of the experience in life that you have had, and that your angel Ally has brought you to.

I am going to go further, Cindee.  I am going to say that I believe that Ally and the souls of all those other children had it set up that way.  That is, your wonderful child died for a reason much larger than you might ever have imagined: to prepare you to touch the lives of not just one child, but hundreds and hundreds of children, in a way which could only emerge from a heart that had been broken…and healed again, thus to know the true wonder and glory of life, of childhood, of Divinity Itself, and the worth of each and every soul.  I believe every child in every classroom you ever enter from this day until the end of your life is waiting, Cindee, for you to give him or her that gift.  I believe that your other daughter awaits your giving of that gift every time she folds herself into your arms.  And I believe that when you hold her, you hold Ally, too.  For Ally’s soul accompanies the soul of her sister into your arms, that her healing and joy may be yours, even as yours is her sister’s.

Is this too large a reality for you to embrace or comprehend, Cindee?  I don’t think so, or you would never have written me.  So go now, and celebrate Ally’s everlasting presence by honoring her soul’s intention, and yours.  Shed not tears of sadness, but tears of joy, for as you bring lightness and happiness and the promise of tomorrow to all other children — and, indeed, to all people who enter your life — you bring them a piece of Ally…who, after all, was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, a piece of YOU.

God bless you, my friend, and thank you for writing to me.  A part of me shall be with you always because of this exchange we have shared.  Know that God sends you strength and wisdom in unending abundance.

With Love,
Neale