About Being A Coward

23 June 2019 Sunday 6:42pm

Just now, walking past a sitting area under the block of flats in my neighbourhood, I happen to glance at a couple of elderly men in wheelchairs and their caregivers. They were probably there just to relax and watch people walking by. But the women did not look like they were relaxing at all. One of them was sitting on the stone bench. She was using a sarong to cover her front because her Tshirt was pulled up at the back. The other woman was standing behind her. She looked like she was inspecting her friend’s back. I noticed reddish welts. And they certainly didn’t look like they were bug bites. It looked like she leaned back against a fence with diagonal metal bars. I only glanced for a couple of seconds but I knew at once they were burn marks. I walked on, pretending not to have noticed. I don’t think they saw me. By then the blood began to pound in my head and my heart beat a little faster. I thought, Shouldn’t I turn back and help her to report the abuse to the authorities or something? But still I walked on. I felt like crying and I felt angry at the same time. Why didn’t I turn back, G?

You tell me, dear one.

I didn’t turn back because…because…I’m a coward!

What is a coward, my dear?

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

So are you a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.? Are you a timid or an easily intimidated person? Be honest with yourself.

No. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this.

Doing what, dear?

Helping women to not be oppressed anymore.

There’s your answer.

But I didn’t turn back! That’s not helping women!

Abuse is rooted in a belief. We are all about helping women change the belief that they deserve less respect than men. And we are also helping men change this belief. A belief is of the soul and mind. You didn’t turn back because your soul knows true change is from the soul. You are already helping that woman by bringing awareness to her particular situation. Because her situation is not uncommon. Will you be posting this online?

Yes, I suppose.

There you go. In order to help one woman, you have to help bring awareness to the problems most women are experiencing.

But what about that abused woman? Who will help her not be abused anymore?

Only she can help herself. And revealing her predicament to another is already one way of doing that. Let us hope they will help each other do the right thing. And you seeing evidence of her abuse is not a happenstance. Everything that happens in your life is never a happenstance. Everything that shows up in your life has a purpose. Your experiences are tools to help you evolve to the grandest and highest version of your spiritual self.

Not helping that woman is certainly not the grandest and highest version of my spiritual self. I’m still feeling guilty that I didn’t turn back to help.

You still can, you know.

I can still what?

Turn back.

I don’t think so. She might not be there anymore.

What if you see her again? Will you ask her about her predicament?

I really don’t know the answer to that. There are so many things to consider.

Like what, my dear?

Like would she be embarrassed if a total stranger confronted her about her back? Maybe they aren’t even burn marks. Then I’ll be the one embarrassed. Or her employer might find out that someone else knows about her predicament and then she might be abused even more.

You do know, my child, that those are just guesswork. Also known as excuses. They are mere speculations. Which means they do not exist.

Also known as fears.

Yes.

Then I am a coward after all.

You may say whatever you say you are, dear one. But what you are doing or not doing is not as important as what you are being. What do you think you are being?

I’m being a coward.

Tell me what is a coward again, please.

A coward is “a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. A timid or easily intimidated person.”

Is a coward being fearful or being courageous?

A coward is being fearful.

Are you in fear right now?

Not now, no. But I was when I passed by that abused woman!

Are you very sure she was abused?

No, I’m not one hundred percent sure. Where is this going?

This is going nowhere until you are one hundred percent sure that she was abused.

But the only way to be one hundred percent sure is to walk up to her and ask her to her face!

Then do it.

I don’t want to!

Why not?

Because I’m a coward!

I give up.

God is giving up. That’s laughable.

Reversal

28 July 2018 Saturday 9:11am

This is hard!

What is hard, dear one?

This keeping my tweets to a minimum when there’s so many popping in my head dying to be tweeted! They’re like popcorn popping in a pot with a tight lid on it!

Then why are you controlling them?

I don’t know. Maybe I just want to know what it feels like to suppress my soul from expressing itself.

You’ve taken time-offs from being online before.

Not like this. Those time-offs before were times when I did not really have any desire to “put anything out there” for everyone to see. This feels different somehow. Instead of tweeting my first thoughts, I’ve been keeping notes of them in my Note app. Another weird thing is that I seem to find myself thinking twice, or even thrice, and even multiple times about that one tweet that I want to tweet for the day. I’ll be asking myself: Is it relevant? What does it mean? Is it important? Does it make sense? Etc, etc.

And before?

And before what?

How did it feel before when you gave yourself freedom to tweet anything that pops into your head?

Oh. Well, I didn’t even have to think twice. A thought would always feel like an OMG moment. You know like, a thought would pop into my head while I’m cooking, or brushing my teeth, or in the shower, then I’ve had to pick up my phone immediately and tweet right there and then. That flash of thought would feel like it makes so much sense. It would usually feel like it was true in every sense of the word. For my scheduled tweets, the words would still seem very true at the moment that it popped up. But since my tweets are scheduled, I would have time to think about it. Usually, I’ll type it the day before or the night before. But then there’ll be lots of times when something else will pop up. That’s when I’ll change the scheduled tweet. Many times! It’s so weird. I didn’t use to overthink a thought before. What is happening to me?!

Reversal.

Huh?

Look up the meaning, please.

Okay. There are three which seem relevant. Reversal means: One—“acting in a manner opposite or contrary to that which is usual”. Two—“to alter to the opposite in character or tendency; change completely”. And three—“to turn in the opposite order: to reverse the process of evolution”.

How do each of those meanings seem relevant to your truth?

Okay. For the first one—overthinking a first thought is acting in a manner opposite or contrary to that which is my usual self. Before, I didn’t have to know or understand the meaning of my thoughts before sending them online. So that’s true. The second meaning of “reversal” says, “to alter to the opposite in character or tendency; change completely”. Okay, I agree. That’s somewhat true.

Somewhat? Why isn’t the second meaning one hundred percent true for you?

If it was hundred percent true, there’ll be zero tweets from me. At the moment, I’m still putting some of myself online. In fact, my blog posts are counted as my truth “out there” too, right?

Yes. How about the third meaning? Is it relevant to what you are experiencing?

The third meaning of “reversal” says, “to turn in the opposite order: to reverse the process of evolution”. I’m not sure about this one. Am I reversing the process of my soul evolution?

When it comes to the evolution of the soul, there is no such thing, my dear.

Maybe you mean the evolution of the physical. Because when you’re dead, you’re dead. Unless you become a zombie. Haha…Anyway—when it comes to the soul, the soul simply is. The soul knows everything. So how can the soul evolve if the soul already knows everything and it simply is?

Precisely. The soul can neither evolve forward nor backward. Or reversed, as what we are discussing here. The soul is exactly where it wishes to be—and it is everywhere, now and forever.

So the third meaning of reversal is not relevant to what I am experiencing at the moment? So the reason why I’m suppressing the desire of my soul is because of “reversal”. I still don’t get it. Why am I experiencing reversal?

Empathy, my dear. In order for you to fulfil your purpose in this world, your soul will desire to experience everything. Suppression of that desire is an aspect of everything. Your soul wish to empathise with others who are experiencing suppression of the desire of the soul. Although, your experience at the moment is at a much milder level as compared to those who are experiencing it fully. What do you think would have happened if you did not put your truth “out there” over 5 years ago? As in, you suppressed your soul’s desire?

Really? It’s only been 5 years? 5 years since I began my soul journey? It feels like it’s been forever!

Putting into perspective what all of you have accomplished within that 5 years in moving towards your highest evolution, my dear, I consider it a miracle.

I’m sure all messengers (active and non-active) would be glad to hear that. Thank you.

No, thank you. So, my dear, I ask again—What do you think would have happened if you did not put your truth “out there” over 5 years ago?

I have no idea.

So it is of no use contemplating or discussing what would have happened?

Yup, no use at all. It’ll be a complete waste of time. Speaking of time—can I tweet whatever and whenever again?

You can do whatever you wish, my dear. You are free.

Yay.

How To Fertilise Your Garden

26 June 2018 Tuesday 7:19am

I weird thought just came to me while I was washing up at the sink this morning.

Don’t you always?

Yeah. Sometimes the most mundane tasks are the most epiphany-triggering. Why is that?

You are having epiphanies all the time, my dear. It is only when you believe that a thought is an epiphany that a thought becomes an epiphany. Otherwise, you’ll simply treat it as a random thought. The awareness that the voice in your head is God’s voice also influences the way you consider your thoughts. To some, God’s voice is of the highest value. They will ponder and try to understand the meaning of a certain thought that strikes them as revelations, or what you call “epiphany.” And sometimes, they would wish to share it with others. That is usually how your holy scriptures are created. “Holy scriptures” is a somewhat outdated term at this moment in time, don’t you think? Because many of you are now aware that everything and everyone is holy. Now, on the other hand, there are some who still believe that some of your thoughts are from the devil. Do you think you would give them value if you consider these thoughts as evil?

I don’t think so. In fact, I’ll not even consider such thoughts at all. But there’s no such thing as the devil. It’s a myth that humans created in order to…to…Um, why did we create the myth that is the devil?

We created the myth of the devil because a long, long time ago it was too unbelievable to believe that humans are God in human form. Another reason would be that God desires to know Godself—who is love. In order for God to know God as love, there must exist that which is not love. God wish to experience Itself. God wish to experience love. So we invented the illusion of fear, which humans humanised into what you now call the devil. Love is God, fear is the devil. It is in your world of the relative that God is now able to experience Godself because there is now the illusion that we created that which we call “evil.” It is in your world of the relative that God experience love. God experience love through humans—through all of you. But in order to experience love, you must also experience fear.

I understand. Question: You used the words “we created the myth” and “we invented the illusion of fear.” But then you also used the words “in your world.” Isn’t God in the world of the relative too?

Of course. You are all my spirit children. My spirit is in all of you. And you are ALL my children. That is how God exists in your world. We use the term “children” because your physical forms are mere babes at this moment in time. You have no idea yet of what your physical forms are capable of. Your physical form now is only a tiny seed in the spectrum of evolution in your little universe. Your mind will be blown away if you knew to what extent your physical form is capable of evolving into. If you will only take good care of yourself. And your earth, of course.

We’re trying, okay? We’re trying very hard. So the earth is actually only a tiny seed in a little universe? My God! What else is out there for us?

The truth, dear one. And at this moment in time, you are yet incapable of understanding the immensity of—

Stop. Just now, you called us mere children and our universe is “little.” And now you’re saying we are “incapable.” I am feeling really small right now.

I apologise. I am merely making you aware of your power to create anything. This world has so much potential in terms of—

Argh! Can we please change the subject?

Of course. So what was your epiphany all about?

Oh…Oh yeah. It’s about desire. I suddenly realised that desire may not be from within. I mean, it isn’t triggered inside out. It’s actually triggered outside in.

So what do you think triggered that thought?

It’s my tweet about desire being a fertiliser. Plants are still able to grow without us adding fertiliser or vitamins or whatever will boost its growth. Or is it a mistake to use the fertiliser allegory?

In order for an allegory to be better understood, it’s better to describe or use an illustration or an imaginary situation. What else would you use?

How about an apple?

Alright. Go ahead.

There’s a table in an empty room. Wait…How about this—I am in the Nothingness Room. I’ve just had lunch. Then someone comes in and places a table in the Nothingness Room. And then that someone places a bright, red apple on that table. So now there’s this bright, red and juicy looking apple right in front of me. But I’m not really hungry because I just had lunch. But that apple sure looks delicious. That sentence just spelled D-E-S-I-R-E. I feel desire for that delicious looking apple. When a while ago, I didn’t have such desire because that apple wasn’t there. My desire only got triggered upon seeing that delicious apple. That’s desire from outside in, isn’t it?

How do you know it’s delicious?

Huh? Does it matter? We’re talking about “desire” here—not taste.

It does matter. So how will you know if that apple is delicious?

By picking it up and taking a bite, that’s how. You’re weird.

What if it’s not delicious? What if it’s sour? Will you still have the desire to finish eating that whole awful-tasting-teeth-numbing-sour apple?

I suppose not. What’s your point?

I’ll explain in a while. So your desire suddenly turned to derision upon realising that what you thought was desirable is actually not so desirable after all?

Derision is too harsh. Let’s just say I got turned off. I can’t stand eating sour food. I think I’ve got more sweet areas in my tongue than sour. So anyway, what’s your point?

In a while. Let’s say, someone comes in again and places something else on that table in your Nothingness Room. It’s something you know will be delicious even if you don’t pick it up and take a bite.

Ooh, I know what that is—chocolate! M&M’s!

M&M’s it is. Note that you haven’t taken a bite of either one of the two—the delicious looking apple and the M&M’s. So where is your desire headed now?

That’s not fair. One is good for my health, the other is not.

We’re not talking about health—we’re talking about desire. You can be shown the most unhealthy food in the world and yet you can still have the unholiest of holiest desire for it. It is your other desire to have a healthy body that is the contender. I’ll put it this way—you just had a very healthy lunch. Now, you get to pick dessert.

Okay. That’s fair. And you already know my answer.

M&M’s it is.

Yum. So which is it: Is desire from inside out? Or is desire from outside in?

Which came first: The chicken or the egg?

Oh man…I don’t even know why I bother.

Let’s put it this way—And my point as well, is that—fertiliser (which you used as metaphor for “acting upon your desires”) is optional when it comes to maintaining a garden. On the other hand, a healthy and beautiful garden is regularly maintained and given lots of TLC and vitamins or fertiliser. Not unlike the way you maintain your body, mind and spirit. To love is to act. Otherwise, you are merely breathing in order to be alive.

Isn’t just being alive in this world good enough?

There’s being alive and then there’s just being alive and yet knowing you have a bigger purpose in this world.

Like I said—I don’t even know why I bother.

I know why. Because you have empathy.

No, I don’t.

Yes, you do.

No, I don’t.

Suit yourself.

Alright! Yes, I do.