About Relationships


8 April 2017 Saturday


“Focus on what you are being. Not what the other is doing. Are you being true to yourself? Only then can you make a relationship reach its fullest potential.”

What’s this tweet about, God?

What do you think it’s about?

Why do you always do that? Answer my question with a question.

Because it is better for you to figure it out for yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe that you can find your own answers. Your own truths. I Am around only as a Guide. I Am guiding you to your truth.

Okay, okay. And thank You. Thank You for being my Truth Guide.

You’re very welcome.

So to get back to my question, I guess the tweet is all about how to keep a relationship going. You know, like marriage. How to keep a marriage going.

Going where?

Huh? Go as long as it can, until death do they part, I guess.

So you think the longevity of a relationship is a gauge for its success? Or failure?

Isn’t it? I thought the longer a couple is married the stronger it becomes.

Don’t pretend, my child. You know very well that there are couples, many, many couples who stay as couples for the sake of keeping up appearances.

I don’t really “know” them personally. But I’ve observed a few elderly who are living under one roof but I have never ever seen them together. As in physically together when they are out and about. There’s even one “Auntie” who seemed more relaxed after her husband died. But I could be wrong.

Trust your gut instinct. So do you think their marriage was a fruitful one until the end? Or until one partner had to finally leave this realm?

I don’t think so. I felt that they didn’t even like each other.

So do you still think that the length of a relationship is its test of strength?

No. But are You saying even a short relationship has the potential to be strong? And fruitful?

Give me an example of a short relationship.

A fling.

What’s a fling?

I found a meaning that says, “a fling is a deliberately short-term sexual relationship between two people but longer than a one-night stand.” So are You telling me a fling can be fruitful?

Why not? It depends entirely on what the partners are trying to achieve. They might be trying to achieve sexual gratification to a fleeting sexual attraction. It may be a case where each partner has other commitments.

Extra-marital, You mean. So how can something so wrong be right? If what You’re saying is true about the length of a relationship not necessarily justifying its success. A fling can be a successful relationship? A lot of people will disagree with that. Especially those who have certain beliefs to adhere to.

There’s the problem right there. Your beliefs are your rules for almost everything. Including relationships.

But if we didn’t have rules about relationships, everybody can just pick up any Tom, Dick or Harry, or Jane, Judy or Mary and go to bed with them morning, noon and night!

Aren’t you all doing that now?

No! Well, not all of us. You are so frustrating sometimes!

Frustration comes from confusion. Confusion comes from misunderstanding what a problem is all about. And a problem occurs when decisions are made that are not totally agreed upon by everyone involved. Only when all of you agree, or at the least make compromises, will problems be solved.

And I suppose that goes for relationships?

Yes. Yes it does.

Actually, there’s something else to that tweet that I need explained. The part about “Focus on what you are being and not what the other is doing.” A picture comes to mind of a husband out on the golf-course putting to his heart’s content while the wife’s at home, taking care of the children.

Are they both enjoying themselves?

For discussion’s sake, let’s say they are. The wife is very okay with the husband playing golf while she stays home taking care of the children.

Do you think this relationship will be strong?

Yeah sure. Why not? They’re both enjoying themselves.

Here’s another picture to imagine: The husband has just returned from a game of golf and as soon as he steps through the door, he’s bombarded with a barrage of complaints from wifey, shouting at him that he too should take care of the children. So what about this relationship? Do you think it’s going to stay strong?

Nope, I don’t think so.

Here’s another question: Are you in a relationship right now?

Nope. I wish I was. I think…

Why “I think”?

Well, it would be nice to have an “intimate and trusted friend.” But a relationship takes a lot of hard work.

You just sent that thought to the universe.

Oh! Sorry, sorry. I take it back! A relationship is worth all the hard work! How about that?

Much better.