Old Wounds

First Aid

21 April 2014 Monday 9:59am

Three words – opening old wounds.

Three words – in the past.

I know they’re in the past, but the memories still hurt.

What are memories?

The dictionary says it’s “the mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, etc., or of recalling or recognizing previous experiences.”

The key words are “the mental capacity of retaining previous experiences.” How much capacity does your mind have?

I have no idea.

Yes, you do. You simply do not want to think.

I don’t?

You don’t. You are either too lazy to look as far back as you can or you do not want to be hurt with the painful memories that have been retained in your mind.

Um, I’m lazy. It takes a lot of energy trying to recall as far back as I can. As for the painful ones…to be honest, they’re not that painful anymore. Even the most recent. Like Rene’s–

Hearing test. You’re lying.

What?! I’m not!

If it wasn’t that painful anymore it wouldn’t be the first thing that popped into your mind, now would it?

Well?

Yeah. Every time I purposely recall the incident my heart’ll start pumping and guilt and resentment rear their ugly heads. I can’t help myself.

How about your son? Does he still remember?

Not really. Not even when I’m cleaning his ears (ears are self-cleaning they say but wax overload is so unsightly! Yuck!) It’s like it never happened.

Why do you think your son has forgotten all about it and you haven’t?

Thinking of it now, it’s probably because I knew that the intent was to harm while Rene only knew that it was for his own good. He trusted the doctor. I did too at that time. It was only after the incident that I realized about the intent. Aargh! Can we change the subject? I’m starting to get upset again.

We can change the subject if you really want to but how will others know how to go about solving the problem at hand if we do not discuss it? Awareness is the key to solving problems. After awareness comes The Truth. After The Truth–

Hang on. After awareness is The Truth. Can You please expand on that a little more?

Alright. How do you usually know each other’s Truth? Certainly not by being silent. Unless you can read minds. Although, some of you have the ability, it is not customary. That is the custom with highly evolved beings but at this moment in time, what do you think is the best way to get to know each other’s Truth?

Communication?

Communication. All of you have invented so many gizmos to communicate and yet misunderstandings abound. Why?

We’re afraid.

Afraid of what, child?

Afraid of hurting people’s feelings. Because sometimes the truth hurts. Especially old wounds.

Describe an old wound to me.

You mean literally?

Yes.

Why?

Right. I have an old wound just below my knee. It was a mosquito bite that I scratched like crazy and became a wound. I didn’t tell mum about it so it got infected. I can’t remember anymore what happened after but now it’s really ugly. It has a keloid. I seldom wear skirts because of it.

Would you open it again?

What?! Are you kidding? You mean like cut it open?

Yes.

NO! That’ll be painful!

What would you use to open it again?

I. AM. NOT. GOING–

Settle down, child. It’s metaphorical.

Oh.

What would you use–

A knife.

A knife is tangible, is it not?

Yes.

How about your old wound? Is it tangible?

Yes. I can see it. I can feel it. If I cut it again I can feel pain. The pain will be tangible.

No.

What no? Pain is tangible.

Pain is a feeling. Is feeling tangible?

I’m beginning to hate that word.

Tangible?

Yes.

Don’t change the subject.

Pain is not tangible?

No. It is not. Can you touch pain?

You can touch and feel the wound on your skin but you cannot touch pain. Pain is a feeling. Can you control pain?

I have low tolerance for it so I cannot answer that question. I hate giving birth, if that counts.

There are others who can control pain. Daredevils, those who thrive on extreme sports, fire-walkers, fire-eaters, sword-swallowers, broken-glass eaters, women in labor. Ah yes. Women in labor. They are the best pain controllers. Giving birth is the most beautiful and yet the most painful reality in your world. But women can control this pain–

Not me.

–because they are fully aware of the perfect outcome, yes?

Yes. I have two of them. So what does labor pain got to do with opening old wounds?

The phrase “opening old wounds” is an intangible feeling brought on by another intangible feeling–the feeling of resentment and anger brought on by an intangible element. A word. Or words. Like I said before, words only have meaning if you put meaning into them. They are meaningless if you purposely ignore the feeling that the word invokes. You can control the feeling, in this case, resentment, like how women control labor pains by not letting it control them.

But the feeling of resentment from opening old wounds was brought on by an action by another.

Was there ill intent?

Well, not really. That’s what I heard on the news anyway. And apologies were given.

Then what’s the problem?

It’s still an issue. A sensitive issue.

Why is it sensitive?

Because it involves a relationship between two that have to work together so that peace will prevail.

Then why don’t they work it out?

Work it out as in communicate?

Yes.

I don’t know. I don’t really know what’s going on.

Then neither do I.

God!!

God?