On the subject of sexuality, I’d like to bring up this weird thing I do that I can’t seem to curb.
What is it?
Um…It’s rather embarrassing.
Out with it. If it is a first thought then it means I have a message to convey to everyone.
Fine. It’s when I’m out and about among the crowd. There will be times when I’m too conscious to make eye contact with other people who are walking towards me. You know, like we will be walking towards each other and I’ll feel too conscious to make eye contact. It is then when I’ll tend to glance somewhere else other than the person’s face. More often than not, I’ll tend to look away and down. What’s embarrassing is when the person happens to be a man. My line of vision would smack-dab hit his crotch. I swear it isn’t intentional – it’s a reflex thing. Then the chap will sense it and would cringe and feel uncomfortable. He would walk away quickly and then check his fly – whether it was unzipped or something. He probably thought I was checking out his manhood. It’s so embarrassing! In fact, it happened in a crowded bus this morning. I was seated and there was this guy who was standing in my line of vision. I couldn’t help it – my eyes sort of targeted that part of his anatomy. My glance only took a split second but the guy felt it! It was standing room only in the bus so the only thing he could do was fold his hands in front of his crotch. Gah! He probably thought I would “check” him out again! I felt so uncomfortable!
It was your soul.
What? My soul was checking the guy out? No way!
Tell me – what is your soul’s purpose?
My soul’s purpose is to empower women.
And what did I say about empowering?
That in order to empower someone you have to feel powerless yourself.
Your soul is making men feel what it feels like being “checked out” based on their sexuality – a taste of their own medicine, so to speak. Do you understand?
So my soul is doing it, right? Not me per se?
You can put it that way.
That doesn’t exactly make me feel any better.
Do you want to feel better or to empower women?
Why? Why do you always give me an ultimatum?
An ultimatum is a final demand the result of which will end any relations.
And you definitely will not end any relations with anyone in this world, will you, God? No matter what decision we make.
Then I guess I choose to empower women even if it feels uncomfortable. So, how can I stop myself from doing it?
What? Why not?
Because it’s from your soul. Anything your soul does will not be curbed unless your mind has something to do with it.
I’ll train my mind then.